The EFT Letter: Finding Your Perfect EFT Set Up Phrases
So, someone writes to me and they say:
"My mother has died, and I feel totally lost. I feel as though the ground has been pulled out from under my feet and I don't know who I am anymore. I've been alternating between depression and going mad with grief, I have no energy for anything, can't think straight, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. What should I tap on?"
As you can see, every part of those sentences would make an EFT set up phrase.
For practice, see if you can spot the possible opening statements.
Have a go before you scroll down to see which EFT set ups I have highlighted.
Ok, so here are all the possible the EFT set up phrases I "heard" in this message:
My mother has died, and I feel totally lost. I feel as though the ground has been pulled out from under my feet and I don't know who I am anymore. I've been alternating between depression and going mad with grief, I have no energy for anything, can't think straight, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. What should I tap on?"
As you can see, there are a lot of things to choose from.
As a tip, the first thing and the last thing this person said are often particularly important.
The last thing they said was, "What should I tap on?"
- This is one of the most useful and globally applicable of all EFT set up phrases or opening statements - if you don't know what to tap on, simply tap EFT on, "Even though I don't know what I should tap on/where to start tapping, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself."
If I was the practitioner in this case, and a client had told me the words that were in this email, I would have gone straight to the very first thing:
My mother has died.
This is the heart of the matter, the one thing from which all these other problems flow, and if we apply this as the opening statement or set up phrase, we are going to enter into the real cause of the problem, where the biggest disturbances lies, and we get the most gains.
If we start there, with the first thing the person wrote, EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWS will change when the emotions about the first issue change.
A real EFT treatment then comes into being, where one set up flows naturally from the first, and these are the perfect set up phrases that arise.
Often, people are afraid to tap on the obvious key set up phrase, because they know there are going to be huge, huge emotions going to be "unleashed" if you use the key set up phrase.
This is true, but it is those huge emotions that if you keep tapping through it, you will find the greatest relief, the greatest gains with EFT. That's exactly where EFT stops being "a bit of tapping" and turns into this miracle cure that has people become so enthusiastic about it.
This makes sense; if you release "huge emotions" you get huge benefits, it really makes a big difference to a person's life. If you only release little emotions, or things that aren't that important, you only get little changes. EFT is very cause and effect in that way.
So, this person can now tap for:
"Even though my mother has died, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself."
- When you are dealing with such high emotions, just keep tapping EFT round and round. That means when you get to the end of the sequence, simply start again at the beginning and keep going until you feel you are back in control and emotions begin to flow more smoothly, the pain recedes and you become clearer, and lighter in yourself.
What happens now is that the whole problem has changed, and new and different set up phrases become apparent. In this example, the person might tap next for, "I miss her so much," because that's the next emotion that has revealed itself.
What is important is that there is now a flow and direction in the EFT treatment and now you know what to tap on next, once we have taken care of the "key" to the entire problem group, which was, "My mother has died."
Now let's consider your problem and what EFT set up phrase might be your personal key that will unlock the problem group you have.
And you discover this by writing the EFT letter as I call it, or an EFT email in which you explain your problem group as it stands right now.
If I asked you to explain your problem to me now, what would you write?
Call up a blank email or a note pad and write down how you would explain what the problem is and how it is affecting you.
Be as honest and straightforward as you can be.
Highlight all the possible EFT set up phrases and opening statements which are written down in your own words, and those are the words you need to use.
See if you can spot the "EFT Key" opening statement, the one that sums up everything, the core of the problem. It is often the very first thing you wrote/thought/said.
If you can't, then just make a list of the set up phrases you have discovered, and tap one after the other, nice and methodical.
If you wrote the truth in your EFT letter, at least one key EFT set up phrase will be amongst them.
This will unlock the problem group, give you new insights on where the problem came from, or what this is "really all about".
The EFT letter is a really simple and profoundly useful way to discover your own personal set up phrases and opening statements to tap on in EFT.
Don't just do it once. Send yourself EFT letters about your problems by email. Write them when you are in the right state of emotional upset, anger, desperation, depression, anxiety. That's where you will be "close to the problem" and naturally come up with the very words that you need to turn into your own personal EFT set up phrase that will really work for you.
You can extract the right words and phrases later on, when you are calmer; or you can start doing something right away,
To sum up:
The EFT letter gives you another perspective on your problems.
With a bit of practice, you can then also start to hear your own set up phrases when you think them, or say them in general life - they become HIGHLIGHTED because of the practice in spotting good EFT set up phrases.
Finally, I always encourage people to really listen out for when other people talk and highlight THEIR potential set ups - people in your life, but also witness reports on TV, on talk shows, on the news.
To know what the key is to a person's problems is a really valuable skill apart from the fact that it is also THE skill you need in EFT self help.
Good luck and don't just think about writing yourself an EFT letter - do it now, find your perfect EFT set ups, and START TAPPING!
With best wishes,
This is an original "Classic EFT" article from 2010.
We now use Energy EFT instead which doesn't have "Even though ... I deeply and profoundly etc. ..." any longer and some other important changes that makes modern Energy EFT a whole lot easier.
We also have now the SUE Scale and Positive EFT, which means that you have a choice.
You can either work with tapping the negative statements, such as, "My mother has died," in the example above, or you can choose to find a healing positive energy form instead.
We ask, "What form of energy would help you, right here, right now?"
The answer comes from within yourself, and is the first step to the solution.
Someone might say, "The love of my mother." Tapping this instead of, "My mother has died" creates a completely different treatment flow. It's much more healing and directly uplifting.
Working with Positive Energy *as well as* with tapping on negative statements gives far more choice, and makes EFT a lot easier for non-therapist minded people, or those who don't want to dig in their traumas.
You can't go wrong with the positives, and you can't choose the wrong one. The positives are the healing we need - simple but true.
So if you're one of the many people who just can't figure out how to tap their many problems away and don't know where to start, take heart and start here:
Positive EFT - Powerful EFT Healing Without The Trauma.